Good Lord. I forgot I even had this site. I was looking for another log-in… and stumbled upon this. Interestingly, I was just thinking it was time to dive in and start doing some personal blogging again — a way to keep myself on track with personal/fitness goals.
So…. what’s happened in the last five years? I dropped about 40, maybe close to 50 pounds since the last time I logged into this site. That success was enabled by the diligent use of the app LoseIt to record every morsel of food/beverage I consumed — AND — working out at the gym 6-7 days a week, minimum 45 minutes (usually an hour) of intense aerobic interval stuff.
Then… the marriage got crappier (it was always fair-to-crappy… it just got crappier), and I was doing a lot of self-medicating with food and drink. Lots of drink. In early/middle-ish 2014, after losing a less-than-fulfilling-but-well-paying job, my wife threatened divorce. Although she’d done it many times before, this time it seemed like a very serious and specific threat. Knowing NOTHING about the legal complexities of divorces, and knowing that her very well respected attorney/father would pull out the big guns when push-comes-to-shove, I sought legal advice from a very expensive (and worth every penny) divorce attorney. He suggested a few defensive moves to minimize the blood-letting.
I was waiting for the wife to make the first move, but something odd happened during the following months: (a) The idea of *being* divorced started seeming, well, not-so-bad, and (b) I began to see more and more evidence that our crappy marriage was taking a toll on our kids. The latter was an interesting revelation, as I had long ago lost hope that I would find anything close to happiness within the marriage, but I remained committed to it, “for the sake of the kids.” So, the point at which I clearly saw the damage our relationship was having on the kids — and — the growing idea that *being* divorced wasn’t so bad sounding… in fact it became quite relieving… well, that’s the point middle/later 2014 that I decided to make it happen. I jumped from defense to offense…. borrowed some cash from relatives to pay the hefty retainer to the pricey attorney, and got the ball rolling.
2015 started with filing for divorce. The rest of the year was both crappy (as we continued to live in the same house through the process, for the kids’ sake) and very good, as it was the first time I felt hope and optimism for many many years. We did the mediation approach — somehow managed to get through it and come to an agreement… ended up splitting the marital assets (she got a little more) and evenly splitting custody and parenting time of the kids — without any spousal support payments going either direction. The divorce was official early 2016, we sold the house (and rented it back from the new owners until the end of the school year) then moved into our own rental houses and started our new lives apart (although with frequent contact due to shared parenting of the kids).
The rest of 2016… and all of 2017… and now part of 2018 have been great. I’ve been finding myself again — exploring old long-dormant interests and hobbies… spending time with my kids when I have them, and time as a bachelor when I haven’t. That said, the self-medication continued… eating too much… drinking too much… and too much late night binge-watching Netflix series in my underpants. I haven’t stepped foot into the health club that I continue to spend a crap ton of money on each month… can’t get myself to quit, either, as that would seem to be accepting defeat of long term health/fitness goals.
But… although I can’t show proof, I’ve been gearing up for a change. I bought a scale. I bought a stationary “spinning” bike. I bought a stand-up paddle board. I bought a gallon-sized water jug that looks like a carboy with a handle. And… over the last year, I’ve purchased three or four dozen cases of Pampelmousse (grapefruit) La Croix. 
La Croix, it turns out, is an amazing tool to reduce consumption of food and drink. I stocked the ‘fridge with La Croix — three cases at a time — and simply told myself that every time I go for something to snack on, or for a beer, that I first must drink a La Croix. I found out that half the time I wanted a beer was simply because I was thirsty. Food… boredom, more than hunger.
Still… it’s time to get more serious about the fitness side of things. My lower back has been killing me lately, and I’m pretty sure it’s mostly from carrying around too much weight. Time to shed some pounds.
So… we’ll see. I’d like to get this blog going on a regular basis — even if there isn’t another soul in the world who sees it — just to get words and thoughts down… get some focus… remind myself what I need to get done.
All said, life is good. I think I’ve been a little PTSD over the last couple of years, but I think I’m emerging to a good place, especially as the Spring turns to Summer in the Pacific Northwest. Who knows… maybe one of these days I’ll get fit enough to compete in one of those Cyclocross races. If I wait much longer, I’ll be able to compete in the OLD GUYS division, as well as the Clydesdale and Rookie. We’ll see.
In the meantime… it’s time to get the heart pumping and the wheels turning and the veggies-eating.
Boom.
Diary of a 2-Wheel Clydesdale 